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Radio Roxanne: goofing off on phone
Sunday, 22 June, 2008
7pm
This is a 12 minute 24 second Radio Roxanne clip meant solely for entertainment purposes. Sometime in the next week I’ll be posting a more serious Radio Roxanne audio segment, about the origins of resistance movements. But for now…
My formative years of listening to radio recall hearing Disc Jockeys, especially the drive time voices (like Taylor and Moore), amusing listeners with silly phone calls. Maybe it’s the magic of hearing the human voice transmitted over long distances through the combination of the two technologies of radio and telephone, which strikes me. So, with a nod to my early influences, this is my version of “fun-with-the-phone”…
I save voicemail messages that make me smile. Over the course of the past month or so, I saved a collection of some very goofy messages some of which you’re about to hear. First, the story…:
I moved to my current home 6 years ago, which is when the phone company gave me my current phone number. At the same time, for the past 6 yrs, some guy named Darren Haywood has been making out like a bandit. What I mean is that once or twice a year, for a period of oh, a month or so, people start calling for Darren Haywood. From the sound of their messages, I’m assuming it’s a collection agency. This Darren Haywood has some gig!!—Doesn’t pay his bills, and then gives out someone else’s phone number
(--ahem: MY NUMBER) so he can get away with non-payment.
I hate it when they call here.
One of their recent tactics has been to say, “This message is for Darren Haywood; by continuing to listen to this message, you are confirming you are Darren Haywood… [blah blah blah] --HA! Now that is some trick, you know?!! To be able to change a person’s identity based merely on what the person listens to! Of course when I hear that I hang up on my own voicemail, because I don’t want to be changed into Darren Haywood!….
I never answer the phone.
In the most recent round of calls for Mr. Haywood, I decided to try something new: I recorded a snarky greeting that disabuses the collection agency of ever calling my home again. It also happened to be an outgoing message which my friends apparently found irresistibly amusing…
So, in this clip are several of the voicemail messages my callers left. It should be noted that I find them humorous partly for the fact that my outgoing message evoked in many of these callers a side of their characters I’d never heard before. First, you’ll hear my greeting, followed by the messages…
[ NOTE: The bleeps are intended to block out private information like phone numbers and addresses...]
* * *
listen! - 5 min. riot-in-a-mic! http://www.spiritmorphstudio.com/radioroxanne11-07-07.htm
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